I Love How He Loves You

This was an attempt at the writing style of Shane Koyczan. Specifically, "More Often Than Sometimes". It's a poem that is meant to be read like a story.

True story.

This is a love poem, but it's not about me. It's about the love that you share. The love that I see. It's about a feeling I get from seeing the two of you, one that wont go away. It's also about a wish. One that I wasted today. Today was November 11th, 2011. Everyone said make a wish at 11:11. Now, I never believed in the wish anyway, but something about the combination of the date and the time made me feel hopeful in a way. So when the time rolled around and the whole class stood, I sat and I wished as hard as I could. I tried so hard to make it real in my mind. Almost as if wishes depended on time. I'm not really sure why I made the wish. I'd always found shooting stars, birthday candles and wishbones somewhat childish. So what makes five pairs of snake eyes so different? Maybe that this one guaranteed you got what you wanted and the other ones didn't. So, I wished that I could be like Him. To find my yang, because it's lonely as yin. I want to be the favorite of someone so perfect, and I'd always have the satisfaction of knowing I'm handpicked when I look into her eyes. So I looked toward the skies and said, "Time, give me love." As if time held the power of heaven above. I made the wish out of desperate need, and truthfully, a little jealousy and greed. Because when we're writing our book and he decides to show, what I feel is that need for love grow. When you leave, we talk about sex, video games, stuff like that, but your name always has a funny way of bringing itself back. The way that he loves you and how you have the cutest laugh. That's why he likes it so much. I love how he loves you. It's a unique feeling to see. Something I'll never figure out by listening or reading to these poems about how wonderful it is. The songs about love being the dim-wit maker that it is. I've never met him in person, but he's someone I want to be. Someone who a stranger can look at and say, "See? That's who I want to be." Because that's who he is to me. While I've never talked to him in person, you can see how he feels through the words he chooses. He talks about love as if everyone loses and then he says that he won. Because after all is said and done, you're the only one who's ever made him feel whole. He and I are the same in a lot of ways. We've both been battered and broken and beaten but the difference is, he's found someone to complete him. I see the way you look when you think about him. Your eyes gleam like the stars and everything around them goes dim. Your voice goes higher and you can't sit still. You seem to get lighter and that look that could kill leaves your eyes. Because for once, you're sure that this won't end with silent goodbyes. For a moment, I can see all that makes you cry fade away. You lead the burning urge to die today somewhere far away. Somewhere so far from here that you refuse to hear during this moment that life is anything less than beautiful. You bring eight of your ten cuticles to your lips and make one of the most adorable noises I've ever heard. The one that he loves you to make. So I'll take the time when 11:11 rolls around again tonight and ask to meet someone who can make everything alright in my head... or at least make it seem that way. Because I see the two of you and it makes me sad. Actual love is something that I've never had. Just a flimsy thing that most would call a relationship. But keep in mind we throw that word around like the bag of chips no one wants at the end of lunch because everyone's too full to take it. The relationship just ends up in the landfill in our hearts, taking up a part of it that we were reserving for someone who would make it whole. So I've made a goal to describe him and you and everything that the two of you are. Then I'll take the time to pray to the clock at 11:11 that my life will look like a little slice of earthbound heaven when I'm 16.  Because right now my life is a house built disappointment resting on a fault line of broken dreams. I want her eyes to gleam like the stars at the mere thought of my face. When she doesn't get a replied text right away, I want her mind to race. I want to wake up thinking of her. I want to fall asleep without drinking because she will be the only drug I need. So I'm buying all the time that money can buy so I have the time to try and imagine every little detail of him and you before those five pairs of snake eyes come around for the last time in 1,000 years. I need to make this image as crystal clear as the bond between you two. I love how he loves you. I love how you love him, too.