A Note to a Friend

The first time I saw you was about a month into the second semester of my freshman year. I followed my friends will and Miguel into Driber's room for lunch. You sere the first person I saw because you stood out. At first you seemed like a really interesting person who I wanted to know. Eventually though, your perpetually loud voice just pissed me off and I decided I hated you.

Six or seven months later your writing would inspire my own and then mine would do the same for you and yours for mine and so on. Eventually i would start to like you in "that" way. I dreamt of us meeting during the zombie apocalypse. I ended up giving my life to save you. This story was later written down and read to the class. Not long after that, I learned that you were dating one of the coolest people I've ever had the opportunity to talk to. My feelings for you died there... I'm not sure why. We slowly started to talk more and I learned that despite your outwardly happy appearance, you were hurting inside just as much as me. You aren't only crazy in the way a friend would describe it, you're crazy in a way a psychiatrist would describe it. This makes you the perfect person to help me, and honestly, that scares me.  There's always a certain level of uncomfortability around you because you know me too well. Beyond myself, I don't like people knowing who I really am and you know me better than I do. When people ask me who I am or what I believe in, you're always the first to answer and your answer always has more truth behind it than mine. The most unsettling part about this is that we've only known each other for a couple months. I wouldn't call you a best friend. That term makes me nervous. It implies a level of unparalleled trust that I find hard to give. I've got a bad habit of pushing away people who I want close, even if it's only with the title I give them. Even "friend" is a bit of a stretch. Regardless, I will be your shoulder to cry on. I will be there to provide just enough support to keep you standing when all others would do to much and push you the other way. I will be there for you until you want me gone. I care for you in a way that borders on love... but not in a romantic way. I assume that's what a friend is. If it is, then congratulations, you're the first.