This is based on this list right up there ^
I spend much of my life
Dwelling on questions whose answers I can't find
What is the origin of life,
And what causes death?
What makes past loves so hard to forget?
Why do I like the idea of suicide if I'm not sad?
Why does murder interest me so, and what makes it bad?
How come remebering Her fills me with hated?
What about my endless anger do I find sacred?
Sometimes thoughts of Her give me tranquility
I remember all of her love and security
Her home was a haven from my own
She still hasn't told me why she left me all alone
What symbolism do we find in the heart and it's beat?
We all know it is little more than a pulsing piece of meat
What causes pain, what causes joy?
What causes the numbness that most can avoid?
How did life beat me into being who I am?
Why do I choose not to talk if I know that I can?
What is so amazing about joining notes to rhythm?
What is so hard to understand about escapism?
My train of thought is losing direction
This interest in murder requires correction
I want to go on a rampage before it's too late
I'm going to have all the power on earth, just wait.
My mind drifts again to somewhere new
What is wrong with me, I don't know what to do
Listen to some "Welcome to the Family" Avenged Sevenfold
Make myself feel for a moment that I'm not alone
In the calm I go back to problems larger than me
Of all the so-called "crimes" how many actually stem from bad morality?
If a man robs a convenience store to feed his starving family
Does that give him a criminal mentality?
And what about those doomed to damnation?
Those who in rape, murder, and violence find elation?
If heaven and hell exist after death,
How many will know the blaze when they take their last breath?
I heard 97 in 100 are destined to join the damned
But maybe even the divine wrongly denies those of the Promised Land
Like the atheists and my agnostics who are on the fence about Christ
But beyond that did nothing wrong during their life
And if Jesus died on the cross for our faults,
Why are so many damned by default?
And what of those like me who are between?
Angels to demons and to heaven we're fiends
Are we cursed with eternal life trapped on this earth,
A place I've wanted to leave since my birth?
Maybe if ghost stories are true,
I can take over a body and end all of you
And once everyone has decayed to the bone
I can finally be happy and be left all alone
Create my own music, my own symphony
Alone with my music I'll have tranquility
But I too will need to be gone
One can only stand solitude for so long
If in life I can understand death in this whole
Then maybe in death I'll learn to end the soul
I typed this up on an iPad and the auto-spellcheck is pretty bad. So, if you see a typo or a word that just doesn't make sense at all, please let me know
ReplyDeletei think that this is something all of us has thought at one point or another.. but the fact that its so organized shows you put your heart and soul into this. it's like you took my exact thoughts and wrote them down. couldn't have written this any better myself- it hits home. this is going on my wall dude i wasn't kidding haha:)
ReplyDeletei think you'd like the book "a million little pieces" by james frey. you're writing reminds me of him.
-"Sometimes skulls are thick.
Sometimes hearts are vaccant.
Sometimes words don't work."
(sorry this was long ha)
just so you know, i really did print this out. its pure beauty.
ReplyDelete